Category: Etiquette

  • 5 Reasons Cishet Polya Folks Probably Shouldn’t Claim to Be Queer, Even Though You May Really Want To

    Apologies for the late post; it’s been an eventful day! Here is an updated article originally published on Postmodern Woman. Yay polyamory! Non-Monogamy has been making the rounds lately as the “mainstream” (read straight, USian or British or Canadian, cis, and usually white) discover that love doesn’t have to be as limiting and lonely as…

  • What About That Lovely Compersion? It’s Not Just for Polya People

    Note: This is an updated version of the article first appearing on Postmodern Woman. Whenever we hear about compersion it’s in a romantic polya context. It’s a feeling of joy that one partner gets when one of their partners is happy, usually because they’ve met someone new. To romantic polya folks compersion is held up…

  • Audio Post: What Does Respect Mean in Polyamory?

    Polyamory on Purpose Patreon Campaign   Transcript (subheadings added to make reading at least a little easier) Introduction Hey folks, this is Jessica and we’re trying something new this week. I’ve been thinking for a while about adding a podcast or vlog as a community goal on the PolyonPurpose Patreon campaign. And since this week…

  • Managing Parallel Polyamory

    Let’s talk parallel polyamory. Parallel polyamory refers to poly relationships where the relationships run in parallel and don’t interact. I’m in a relationship with you, and you are in a relationship with your other partner, but the two of us aren’t friends and may never meet. Our two separate relationships progress without connecting to each…

  • Kitchen Table Polyamory, Parallel Polyamory, and Etiquette

    Kitchen Table Polyamory is a new term even in poly circles. It refers to poly relationships where everyone in the polycule is comfortable sitting together at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. Folks who prefer kitchen table polyamory want to know their metamours and be friends with them. They may want their kids…

  • Metamours and “Disrespecting the Primary”

    We’re taking a tangent away from etiquette this week. I got a response to last week’s post that deserves some attention. A person on Twitter asked me if they were wrong to not want to meet their metamour. I told them they need to do what is right for them, but I think meeting their…

  • Meeting Your Metamour

    I touched on this last week, but it deserves its own post. METAMOUR: (Literally, meta with; about + amor love): The partner of one’s partner, with whom one does not share a direct sexual or loving relationship. See related vee. -from More Than Two Glossary of Polyamory Terms Some poly folk object to the term…

  • Introducing Your Polyamorous Partners to Each Other

    I’ve talked elsewhere about why I think it is important for metamours to meet at least once. The short version: 1) It helps with general comfort levels in the relationship and allows everyone to know everyone else as a person, and not an imaginary caricature. 2) Because you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Nothing…

  • Introductions in Polyamorous Relationships

    July will be Introductions month in our etiquette series. I touched on introductions and specifically introducing poly partners and metamours to friends and family, in June. But I’d like to go in-depth on introductions. July topics will include introducing poly partners to each other, etiquette for when you are introduced to your partner’s other partner…

  • Telling a Date You Are Polyamorous

    One of the major hassles of being poly is finding other poly folk to date. Some of us only date through local poly groups or online, where we can be sure our date is poly friendly. Some of us can be more comfortable diving into the local dating pool. But when you are dating someone…